Marriage, is what it is
Marriage is what it
is
In my class this week we read the summary of
the Supreme Court’s ruling on Gay marriage in 2015. I found the paper written
by the Supreme Court Justices fascinating. I am for traditional marriage, but I
liked reading arguments for both sides because it helped me understand the view
point of those who I don’t agree with. If we are kind to those people who don’t
agree
with us, they are more likely to listen to us without hostily and with
understanding. Alexander Dushku compared the traditional marriage fight
with those who are pro-life. In a world where the majority is pro-choice, those
who are pro-life are treated with respect and not as out casts in society. He
said if those who are pro traditional marriage want to be treated with respect
and not as out casts like those
who are racist we must act with dignity and decorum when we defend our views on marriage.(1) I believe that we could
possibly change someone’s mind or at least help them understand our view
point, if we are kind and articulate. When we are rude we have almost no
chance. One of my favorite quotes is " In a world when you can choose to
be anything choose to be kind"
I think one of the most
compelling arguments against same sex marriage is the threat to the liberty of
churches and organizations who are pro-traditional marriage. Now that same -sex
marriage is legal religions and other organizations may face legal retributions.
For example, a school that has housing for married students might be forced to
open it up to same-sex couples or face law-suites and legal fines. Liberty and
freedom have long been defined as freedom from government inference not
entitlement to government benefits. (2) When the supreme court overruled what
states have decided, through their democratic process, what their definition of
marriage is, they took away liberty. Letting nine lawyers change the
definition of marriage when it has been defined as a union between a man and
women since the beginning of time seems ridiculous. Marriage has always been a
means to ensure that people procreate and that children will grow up in a
family with a mom and a dad who are committed to each other. Children need the
influence of both sexes, they need to be close to both. They learn different
things from each parent. When a same sex couple adopts a child or has a baby
through a surrogate or sperm donor they are denying children of having a mom
and dad. The children of same sex couple won’t be miserable they will probably
love both their parents and be happy, but they will still feel a void in their
live. Katy Faust a child of a lesbian couple wrote a letter to Justice Kennedy
explaining why she was against same sex marriage. She said
.
When two adults who cannot procreate want to raise children
together, where do those babies come from? Each child is conceived by a mother
and a father to whom that child has a natural right. When a child is placed in
a same-sex-headed household, she will miss out on at least one critical parental
relationship and a vital dual-gender influence. The nature of the adults’ union
guarantees this. Whether by adoption, divorce, or third-party reproduction, the
adults in this scenario satisfy their heart’s desires, while the child bears
the most significant cost: missing out on one or more of her biological
parents.
Making policy that intentionally deprives children of their
fundamental rights is something that we should not endorse, incentivize, or
promote.
Talk to any child with gay parents, especially those old enough to
reflect on their experiences. If you ask a child raised by a lesbian couple if
they love their two moms, you’ll probably get a resounding “yes!” Ask about
their father, and you are in for either painful silence, a confession of gut-wrenching
longing, or the recognition that they have a father that they wish they could
see more often. The one thing that you will not hear is indifference.What is your experience with children who have divorced parents, or are the offspring of third-party reproduction, or the victims of abandonment? Do they not care about their missing parent? Do those children claim to have never had a sleepless night wondering why their parents left, what they look like, or if they love their child? Of course not. We are made to know, and be known by, both of our parents. When one is absent, that absence leaves a lifelong gaping wound.(3)
The arguments for same -sex
marriage were heart wrenching. Same-sex couples wanted to have their union
acknowledged, they wanted their children to be able to be adopted by both
spouses to give them security, they wanted to travel from state to state and
have their union acknowledged by each state. Their arguments are compelling,
but what they want whether they realize it or not, is to take away rights from
others. In my opinion the best way to have handled these issues that were
brought up, would have been to allow them many of the benefits that
married couples enjoy, tax laws and insurance laws could be have been changed.
Same-sex couples would still have protection without changing the definition of
what marriage is and what it has been since the beginning of time. Marriage is
not just for the happiness of the man and women and it is for children
too, it is for society, society functions best when children are raised in
homes with a father and a mother who are married.
As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day
Saints, I know that marriage has eternal significance. We know that
families have the potential to be eternal, and that a man and a wife may
have eternal increase in the world to come. Two men or two women cannot
procreate so a union between the two isn't in line with God's plan of happiness
for his children. God loves all his children no matter their views, or sexual
orientation. We can love others while defending out faith, freedoms and
believes.
1. Dushku, Alexander (July 7, 2015).
The religious freedom implications of the Supreme Court’s decision on same-sex
marriage in Obergefell V. Hodges. Religious Freedom Annual Review (Conference),
Brigham Young University.
3. Faust, Katy (Febuary 2015) “ Dear
Justice Kennedy: Child of Gay parent”
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