Why marriage matters
While
watching the show Criminal Minds I heard the quote "There is no
doubt that it is around the family and the home that all the greatest virtues
of human society are created, strengthened, and maintained." They credited
the quote to Winston Churchill. Whether Winston Churchill said it or not it is
a powerful statement. Family is the central unit of society, it is where
children learn the patterns of speech they will use to communicate with the
people around them, for many people their first prayer was uttered in the home
where they learned to pray from watching their parents and siblings. It is in
the home where children learn what their parents think is acceptable behavior
and unacceptable behavior. Our life experiences determine our believes and our sense
of right and wrong. They determine how we will treat people when they disagree
with us.
The best setting for children to grow up in
is in a home with a mom and a dad who are married. This has been proved by social
scientist. Studies have shown that children who are from homes where their
parents are married are less likely to be suicidal, get into trouble and do
drugs. They do better in school, they are more likely to graduate from high
school and go to college. Children who grow up in single parent homes are more likely
to live in poverty, and more likely to have parents who are overwhelmed with
their life circumstances who have a hard time effectively parenting and giving
their children adequate attention.
From my experience I never see happy home and family situations when people are living together. My husband and I had a home we rented out for few years and most of our tenants were unmarried couples. None of them lasted long because after about 6 months they broke up and one moved out, the other could not pay the rent and it always turned into an ordeal. Their children were up rooted many times, moving to new schools and had to adjust to another father or mother figure. My readings for my class this week confirmed that couples living together are rarely successful and even if they end up getting married they fare worse than those who never lived together before marriage. I have heard several reasons for this, one is the rental mentality. When we don’t own the house we live in we are not as committed to fixing it up and keeping in good shape, because we have not made a huge financial investment in our residence, we can easily move out without any lasting effects. When couples live together it’s the same thing, they have not made the investment of marriage, they can part ways without dealing with divorce papers and lawyers. Even after a couple who lives together marries it is a hard mentality to break, they are already used the way their relationship had already been run. That is one theory they are probably many other reasons why live in couples aren’t very successful.
From my experience I never see happy home and family situations when people are living together. My husband and I had a home we rented out for few years and most of our tenants were unmarried couples. None of them lasted long because after about 6 months they broke up and one moved out, the other could not pay the rent and it always turned into an ordeal. Their children were up rooted many times, moving to new schools and had to adjust to another father or mother figure. My readings for my class this week confirmed that couples living together are rarely successful and even if they end up getting married they fare worse than those who never lived together before marriage. I have heard several reasons for this, one is the rental mentality. When we don’t own the house we live in we are not as committed to fixing it up and keeping in good shape, because we have not made a huge financial investment in our residence, we can easily move out without any lasting effects. When couples live together it’s the same thing, they have not made the investment of marriage, they can part ways without dealing with divorce papers and lawyers. Even after a couple who lives together marries it is a hard mentality to break, they are already used the way their relationship had already been run. That is one theory they are probably many other reasons why live in couples aren’t very successful.
Children do best in homes where their parents
are married, this is true in all aspects of their lives. Even children whose
parents have divorced do best when their parents remarry, they do better than children whose parent’s
co-habitat after divorce. All the facts, data and statistics confirm that
marriage is important. Marriage matters, it is more than just a piece of paper,
it is more than just something for religious people. The decline in marriage
does have big impacts on our society. Social scientist has concluded that
children growing up in two parents homes have a better standard of living,
experience more effective parenting, they see more cooperation between their
parents and have a better relationship with both parents than children who
don’t (1) There will always be exceptions to these rules. There will be children who grow up in single
parent homes who do very well and then children who grow up in a home with
married parents who struggle, however it doesn’t change what is the best family
structure a home with two parents who
are married.
1.
Amato P (Fall, 2005). The
impact of family formation change on the cognitive, social, and emotional
well-being of the next generation. The Future of Children, 15(2),
75-96.
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